I’m a single mom of two boys. I rarely throw around the term “single mom”. This is mainly because I do have help in this adventure of raising these two boys. My ex-husband is a great dad, pays child support on time every month, and co-parents with me quite nicely (most of the time).
Said ex-husband gained that “ex” title for no dramatic reason (although it may have been dramatic to him). He never cheated. He never abused me. He is a good person. I just fell out of love. I had nothing more to say to him and I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with him. He is complex, analytical, passive aggressive and I had major trouble communicating with him every day. I of course contributed to our challenges, but I’ll save that for another post (a long post!).
People think you are crazy when you leave a perfectly respectable person. No one rushes to your aid. If your husband dies in a car crash or he cheats, you become the victim and you are enveloped by those around you. This is not the case when you do the leaving. I knew this would be the case and I was ready. Although cliché, we have created a “new normal”. I have much less money now and much more stress about being the primary bread-winner, but I am happy. I think I am happy. I’m working towards happy.
There are days when the kids are driving me bonkers and I think “How the hell did I end up here?”. I know this is normal and I know that most moms (single or not) feel the same way. I don’t expect to be perfect, but I try to handle it all with grace. Someone once compared me to Grace Kelly (GK). I must say that I look NOTHING like GK. An acquaintance told me that I was always so put together and that I reminded her of GK. This acquaintance was a very young and very sweet co-worker. I can only imagine that she doesn’t really know much about GK and that must be how this crazy correlation came about. Anyway, I try to think of GK when I’m handling things with Grace (cheesy, I know!). When my 5 year old pukes in the back seat of my 15 year old station wagon (motion sickness, this happens a lot), I channel GK. Well, I channel her grace. There is nothing graceful about cleaning up puke and I know that GK had people to do this for her, but you get my point!
I’m working my way through this adventure of parenthood, managing my career, staying committed to what I am most passionate about and trying to make ends meet. It’s a crazy life and I’m really looking forward to putting it all out there! Even if no one reads any of my rambling posts, the fact that I am posting will help me keep my focus.
Signing off for today J
